Lobster Loot: Miami Seafood Swindler Gets a Taste of Justice
A man named Joseph Paul Putzulu, was nabbed by the Florida police for committing the most audacious lobster crime since someone tried to steal my plastic bib. This lobster- bandit allegedly pulled off the daring feat by swiping over a grand worth of lobsters from a Miami restaurant. Can you imagine the size of the pot of boiling water you’d need for that?
Now, this character didn’t just stroll in and ask for a doggy bag. No way. According to WPLG, He was charged with two felony counts of burglarizing an unoccupied structure. I guess when you’re stealing lobsters, you’ve gotta go big or go home. And speaking of homes, this guy was even out on felony bond when he got caught with all those red-claws.
The whole caper started when the Miami Police Department got a call from a flustered restaurant owner who realized his food freezer was as open. After some intense Sherlock Holmes-level video surveillance, they figured out that the same guy had pulled off a lobster heist just a few days prior.
Lobster Loser:
Our lobster-loving looter wasn’t new to the criminal game either. He had a resume that included trespassing and possession of cocaine. This man’s idea of a good time involves snorting coke and copping crustaceans.
This Putzulu fella was apparently throwing lobsters over fences, using black carts to scale walls. Plus making a dramatic exit with stolen seafood. I guess it’s true what they say… If you’re gonna party, then party hard. Like a lobster.
However, when it comes to lobster thievery, just stick to the dining table. Leave the criminal mastermind plans to Netflix. Your taste buds will thank you, and you won’t end up on the news as the “Lobster Bandit” trying to pull off the shellfish heist of the century. See what I did there?
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