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Orgies on Florida Beaches Ignite Police Warning

Author Budman

Florida beaches are turning into the wildest dating scene in town. Forget swiping right, we’ve got swaying left and right, and by that, I mean a bunch of frisky manatees getting their groove on in the shallow waters. However, according to WFLA, the authorities want you to keep your phone in your pocket and resist the urge to dial 911 for this peculiar form of marine romance.

Your first instinct might be to perform a daring rescue mission and push these seemingly distressed animals back into the water. But hold your horses… or in this case, manatees. You might end up with some legal trouble.

You see, these manatees aren’t actually in need of a lifeguard. They’re just engaging in some public group romance, like a bizarre episode of “The Bachelor,” marine edition. And while their acrobatic displays might be a sight to behold, it’s best to resist the urge to play matchmaker. These big boys and girls are federally threatened species, and interfering with their romantic escapades can lead to more problems than trying to figure out who gets the rose.

 Frisky Florida Beaches:

The experts are clear that it’s all natural behavior. Manatees mate in these herds year-round, but they really know how to crank up the heat during the summer months. So, next time you’re at the beach and witness this aquatic spectacle, remember the golden rule… Don’t call 911. The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office has enough on their plate without dealing with concerned citizens reporting manatee love affairs.

These manatees aren’t just cuddly sea teddy bears. They can grow to be massive. Getting too close might just earn you an unintentional manatee-sized hug, and no one wants to be hugged by a super horny manatee. So, let the manatees do their thing. But remember, interfering with their love story isn’t just bad for them, it’s bad for you.

So, next time you’re in on the beach and you spot what looks like a pile of entangled sea creatures, just give them a thumbs-up and a wink and let them get back to their underwater tango.

15 Florida Beaches Where Alcohol Is Legal To Drink

I fondly remember the days of drinking on Fort Myers Beach. It wasn’t really legal, but we did it anyway. Going to 7-11 and getting a giant Big Gulp cup and then making a mixed drink to sip on the beach. It was so common that every Spring Breaker outside the Lani Kai was carrying a Big Gulp cup. I’m pretty sure the cops knew. Florida beaches and alcohol have always gone together.

And if you’re going to drink on Fort Myers Beach, you better hide it. The Town Of Fort Myers Beach has this posted “Any person convicted of violation of Section 5 of this Ordinance may be punished by a fine not to exceed $500.00 or by imprisonment in the County jail for a period not to exceed 60 days, or both.” 60 days in jail for a Mich Ultra? Seems harsh.

The grown up version is to make a drink in a giant Yeti cup. The ice lasts so much longer. That’s how I do my summertime vodka cranberry down on Bonita Beach. Even though it’s not actually legal to do so. There used to be a sign that says “no alcohol”, but the Hurricane Ian destroyed it.

One thing to remember with alcohol on Florida beaches. It’s really never ok to bring glass. Even if no one says don’t bring glass – don’t bring glass. If you break a bottle you’ll never get all the pieces and then someone will step on it.

And it’s hot here. Don’t forget to alternate between booze and bottled water or you’ll be hurting. That dehydration headache is a killer.

  • Perdido Key

    Perdido Key is on the Panhandle, at the Florida – Alabama border. The local sheriff breaks down the rules:

    • There is absolutely NO GLASS allowed on any of the beaches.
    • Alcohol may be consumed on sandy portions of the beaches only. This applies both Soundside and Gulfside. It must not be in a glass container.

    Perdido Key, FL 32507

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Pensacola Beach

    Pensacola Beach is in the same county as Perdido Key, so the same rules apply. Pensacola Beach  does have an alcohol free “family zone” west of the pier.

    Pensacola Beach, FL

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Shell Island

    It’s ok to drink on private lots and county roads in the middle of the island, but it’s illegal in the State Park area.

    shell island

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Panama City Beach

    The PCB has a Spring Break law where no alcohol is allowed on the beach during the month of March. Also, no metal shovels are allowed on the beach, and digging holes deeper than two feet is prohibited. I’m interested in hearing whatever story caused that law. So it’s legal for 11 months out of the year. 

    Panama City Beach, FL

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Madeira Beach

    On over to the Tampa – St. Pete Area. We don’t call it Mad Beach for nothing. As is usually the case, no glass.

    Madeira Beach, FL

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

     

  • St. Pete Beach

    Rules on this beach. You can drink on the sand at beachfront hotels, but only if you’re a guest of the hotel.

    St Pete Beach, FL

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Treasure Island

    Apparently it’s ok to drink here as long as it’s not day-drinking. No alcohol is allowed on the beach between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays. So pack it and let it set on ice until 4pm. 

    Treasure Island, FL

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Siesta Beach

    We’re in Sarasota County. Cans and cups, no glass. Bad behavior is not ok, so be cool.

    Siesta Beach

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Turtle Beach

    Another Sarasota County Beach, so the same rules as Siesta.

    Turtle Beach

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Lido Beach

    Sarasota County, so it’s cool here, too.

    Lido beach

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Naples Municipal Beach

    I see a lot of conflicting information on this one. Some sites say it’s ok to drink on the beach. Others say it’s not. I know you can’t drink at the pier. You can drink on Marco Island beaches. I know people do drink on Naples Beach, but I don’t know if it’s really legal.

    Naples Pier

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Flagler Beach

    Let’s move on over to the East Coast. The Sheriff’s Department says this “Open containers are prohibited except on the sand of the beaches. ” So finish it before you step off the sand.

    Flagler Beach, FL 32136

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Cocoa Beach

    Drinking is fine, but no glass, and no pets. Sometimes there’s even live music out on the sand.

    Cocoa Beach, FL 32931

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

  • Playalinda Beach

    Not only can you drink here, but if you park in lot 13 that takes you to a clothing optional section of the beach. Yes, a nude beach where drinking is allowed. How have I not been here, yet?

    Playalinda Beach

    Find local businesses, view maps and get driving directions in Google Maps.

 

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

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