I’ve been all over here in South West Florida. From Fort Myers to Cape Coral and Lehigh Acres, I’ve seen some things. I’ve seen gators that were so big they could eat a small car, and I’ve seen people that were so small they could fit in a gator’s mouth. But one thing you won’t catch me doing is eating alligator meat.
let me tell you about a wild experience I had at the radio station the other day. One of our listeners brought in a whole bunch of gator meat and wanted us to try it on air. Now, I don’t know about you, but the thought of eating alligator meat just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
So, I politely declined and said “no way”. I mean, who knows where that gator has been or what it’s been eating. Plus, have you seen the teeth on those things? No thank you. I’ll stick to my trusty PB&J sandwich, thank you very much.
Now, I know… “But Bud, alligator meat is delicious! Why won’t you try it?” Well, let me tell you why. I have a strict rule about not eating animals that can eat me. And let’s be real here, guys. If a gator wanted to, it could gobble me up like a piece of popcorn chicken.
I mean, think about it. Alligators are like the ultimate predators of the sunshine state. They have razor-sharp teeth, powerful jaws, and they’re not afraid to use them. Plus, they can move faster than you can say “yeehaw”. So, if I were to eat alligator meat, it would be like admitting defeat. It would be like saying “Hey gators, I’m not scared of you! In fact, I think you’re delicious!”
But I’m not falling for that trick, no way. I know better than to mess with Mother Nature. She’s got a way of balancing things out, and I don’t want to be on her bad side. So, I’ll stick to eating things like chicken and beef, thank you very much.
Plus, have you ever seen an alligator up close? They’re not exactly the most attractive creatures in the world. They’re covered in scales, they have beady little eyes, and they make this weird grunting noise that sounds like a pig being strangled. I don’t know about you, but that’s not exactly what I look for in a meal.