Florida Man’s Oreo Cookie Assault Lands Him in Jail
A 70-year-old Lake County, Florida man, has found himself in a sticky situation after allegedly launching a full-blown Oreo cookie assault on his wife during a heated argument about the coffee maker’s water crisis. Forget about how the cookie crumbles… This is more like a marriage does.
According to FOX35, John Sandoval’s 40-year union with his wife took a dark turn when their morning coffee routine became the grounds for a serious showdown. As the caffeine-starved couple bickered over the barren coffee maker, Sandoval reportedly went full-on snack ninja, hurling a package of Oreos at his wife!
Things took a darker turn when the sweet treat hit its mark, causing his wife to take an involuntary nosedive. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more bizarre, Sandoval allegedly decided to attempt a cookie chokehold.
Oreo Cookie Assault:
The icing on this peculiar cookie crime? The incident wasn’t reported until the following day, when the daughter, probably concerned about the lack of Oreos for breakfast, convinced her mother to press charges. Deputies, however, didn’t find any cookie-induced injuries, though the mental image of a flying Oreos might haunt the poor woman’s dreams.
Sandoval, upon being cornered by law enforcement, admitted to the airborne Oreo cookie attack but conveniently suffered from selective memory loss regarding the throat-grabbing episode. This snack-fueled drama is no laughing matter, but I like to imagine the Cookie Monster as his legal counsel.