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Flashing and Urinating: Florida Man’s Bizarre Behavior Stuns Walmart Customers

Author Budman

Sometimes you just want to do your shopping at Walmart without seeing a Florida man flashing and urinating in front of you. Of course, it seems that nowadays you can’t even go outside without seeing something crazy. Meet Austin Kabanek. According to NBC2, this dude was cruising around in one of those electric shopping carts at a Naples Walmart. Nothing too weird, right? Well, hold on to your belt buckles, because pants are about to drop.

Kabanek decided it was a good idea to give everyone a free show. The kind that involves flashing and urinating. There he was, sitting on the cart, pants unzipped, putting his meat and potatoes on display like an awkward art exhibit. Naturally, someone came up to him and politely suggested that he zip it up and move along. But Austin wasn’t done with his perverted exhibition. So, he stood up and decided it was the perfect time to relieve himself. Right there, in front of the store, in broad daylight.

A drunken Florida man was arrested at an East Naples Walmart for flashing and urinating in front of customers.
Collier County Sheriff's Office

Flashing and Urinating Fun:

When the Collier County deputies arrived, they found Kabanek at the entrance, still with his pants down, looking like he just didn’t have a care in the world. The dude was swaying, slurring his words, and smelling like a distillery. Clearly, he had a little too much of that special sauce.

The deputies did what they had to do. They cuffed him and took him over to the Naples Community Baker Hospital to sober up. With his level of flashing and urinating intoxication, they probably thought he needed more than just a few hours in the drunk tank. And, of course, they charged him with indecent exposure. First offense, but definitely not something you want on your record.

So, next time you’re heading out to do some grocery shopping, just remember, you might want to wipe down that electric cart you plan on taking out for a spin.

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

Video: Drunk Florida Man Passes Out While Driving His Boat, Narrowly Misses Swimmers On Madeira Beach

I’ve been boating in Florida a lot and there’s one main rule. The driver needs to be sober. I don’t care how drunk you get when you get to shore, but drunk boating can get very dangerous. This incident along Madeira Beach in St. Petersburg could have ended much differently.

Not sure how long he had been speeding along slumped over the wheel, but long enough that the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office helicopter was able to get over him and get this video. The boat luckily kept along the shoreline rather than heading to the beach. You can see he was close enough that he went in between the swimmers and the kayaker.

I wish the helicopter would have zoomed in so we could see the looks on the faces of the people on Madeira Beach. I’m sure some of them were just as drunk as the guy driving the boat. Back in high school we called it Mad Beach. Do they still call it that? I have about a week’s worth of stories I could tell about that place, but some of the people involved are married and have families now. It wouldn’t be right. I’m trying to be respectful, Brenda.

 

  • Here's the video

    I love the part about the beer can on the deck. Ok, I’ll stop. I don’t want to spoil it.

  • So what's the penalty for BWI

    I mean, I had to know. So from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department, here’s what he can be expecting.

    BWI penalty

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