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Machete Madness: Florida man Threatens Driver With Blade

Author Budman

Are you ready for another wild ride with the Florida man? Well, Buckle up because this dude is straight out of crazy town and armed with a machete!  According to FOX4, a road rage incident went down on December 16, after someone reported the occurrence that happened at the intersection of Via Rapallo Drive and Via Villagio Parkway. 

The victims said were driving, when someone behind them started tailgating real close. They say the other driver’s Lights were flashing bright, all up in their rearview, making it clear that this Florida man was NOT there for friendship. That man was named Phillip Mark Zmijewski.

You see, Zmijewski allegedley wasn’t just content to just tailgate. Nah, he decided to take it to the next level. They both pull up to the intersection, and Phillip hops out of his car. And what does he pull out? A freaking machete. Not a baseball bat, not his phone to call it in… This Florida man went straight a machete.

Machete Man:

The other driver was just trying to survive at that point. You see a dude walking toward you swinging a giant blade, it’s not a discussion anymore. This was fight or flight. Thankfully, they stayed safe and called for help as soon as they could.

By the time deputies pulled up, Phillip had already taken off. Now, Cops are pretty good at connecting dots, and it didn’t take long for them to show up at his place. When they got there, Phillip knew exactly why they were knocking on his door.

They hauled him off for Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon, and now he’s got plenty of time to think about why it’s not okay to bring machetes to traffic disputes.

Seriously, If traffic’s got you THAT hot, maybe crank the AC or listen to some smooth jazz to chill you out bro. Anything’s better than pulling a machete and ending up in handcuffs.

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

Video: Drunk Florida Man Passes Out While Driving His Boat, Narrowly Misses Swimmers On Madeira Beach

I’ve been boating in Florida a lot and there’s one main rule. The driver needs to be sober. I don’t care how drunk you get when you get to shore, but drunk boating can get very dangerous. This incident along Madeira Beach in St. Petersburg could have ended much differently.

Not sure how long he had been speeding along slumped over the wheel, but long enough that the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office helicopter was able to get over him and get this video. The boat luckily kept along the shoreline rather than heading to the beach. You can see he was close enough that he went in between the swimmers and the kayaker.

I wish the helicopter would have zoomed in so we could see the looks on the faces of the people on Madeira Beach. I’m sure some of them were just as drunk as the guy driving the boat. Back in high school we called it Mad Beach. Do they still call it that? I have about a week’s worth of stories I could tell about that place, but some of the people involved are married and have families now. It wouldn’t be right. I’m trying to be respectful, Brenda.

 

  • Here's the video

    I love the part about the beer can on the deck. Ok, I’ll stop. I don’t want to spoil it.

  • So what's the penalty for BWI

    I mean, I had to know. So from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department, here’s what he can be expecting.

    BWI penalty

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